Inner Critic Never Sleeps
Today there is a plethora of articles, guides and expatiations discussing that we should first love ourselves and others will come next, that we need to have a positive mindset and then positive situations will prevail over the negative ones in our everyday lives, etc. Thousands of people share beautiful little verses on the true values of life and how to build relationships on their Facebook walls, but in real life they continue to be led by their inner critic that never sleeps and they can hardly restrain themselves from wanting to analyse and comment on the events taking place in their lives or in the lives of their close ones (and often those very distant to them) by looking through the prism of their own experience and assumptions. Of course, our life experience has shown us thousands of times that life is not a bed of roses and that so many flies are put in your ointment that you cannot manage to wipe them out of your memory chambers.
Start with Yourself!
Nevertheless… what if you started with yourself and not others when dealing with these kinds of situations? What if you did not focus on the reaction of others in one or another situation, but rather considered why you want to comment on it in one way and not another? What worries and offends you and makes you react in this case? Generally our actions are determined by the emotions that we felt in the specific situation. If we cannot (do not want to) understand the reasons for our conduct, we will have a hard time making sense of changing our lives. We often think that if only the circumstances were different or if the other person changed, a lot of things would happen in some other way. However, there is an increased number of talks saying that our everyday lives are shaped not by the circumstances, but by our thoughts and attitude towards the circumstances instead.
Becoming more Conscious is the First Step
However trivial it may seem, the moment we become more conscious and choose to pay attention to the content of and reasons for our thoughts, we finally get to know ourselves! But sometimes it is complicated to carry out, because we have to face not only positive, but also negative emotions (for instance, pain, unpleasant memories, etc.). Still, when at last we honestly look into ourselves and face both the agreeable and the disagreeable traits of our character, we get an opportunity to rid ourselves of restrictions! Moreover, the moment when we clearly see the emotions and reactions shaping our daily lives, we have the possibility to choose those that are useful and those that we want to change. While we are trying to change ourselves without this understanding, we may fall into the trap of “buying a ready-to-wear piece of clothing that does not fit our body and is not comfortable, but looks so good on others”!
If you wish to get to know yourself with the help of coaching, contact me and we will find the way to cooperate that is best suited for you!